The Road Continues.....

So, it has been a tough month for Todd and me. But, this life we call "infertility" continues. After the miscarriage and pain on Sunday, I got to talk to my doctor on the Tuesday that followed. Can I remind everyone, I love my doctor!! She was so comforting and really explained what happened in "normal people" words! I even got a card in the mail from the doctor's office that said they were thinking about us and praying for us. I cannot express how much it means to have a doctor that really cares and loves us! So, our doctor said that we were going to continue on this path because she is hopeful that it will work again! She said that only 20% conceive on their first attempt at an IUI and the percentage goes up everytime! She seemed really positive and I am thankful she didnt give me an option to quit. Because, let me tell you, after everything this month, I would have wanted to quit. All that to say that we are going to have our second IUI this weekend (Lord willing!) It depends on all my hormone levels, etc. but, it is so exciting that we get to start all over! I couldnt imagine anything good coming out of what has happened this week but God has a way of proving Himself faithful through the pain! I have polycystic ovarian syndrome which is an easy way to say I have lots of cysts. So, during my first IUI I had over 20 cysts on one ovary and over 30 on the other ovary (which no one seemed worried about?!) But, when we did my last ultrasound this week, I had ZERO cysts!! I was shocked! I dont know why I was shocked, isnt God bigger than medicine? But, it means I have less pain and it is more likely that things will work well without the cysts on each ovary! So, through all the tears, there is a rainbow! So, we covet prayers throughout the next few days as we wait and anticipate our next round of infertility treatments, shots, and possibly another IUI! We will see....

Rollercoaster of Emotions

God sometimes does not quiet the storms in our lives but keeps the storms going and quiets His child.....what a quote to describe this week!

Monday we found out that our IUI worked but my hormone levels were a little low so I was going to take LOTS of medicine and then go back on Thursday. So for 3 full days Todd and I prayed and hoped and anticipated the news on Thursday.

Thursday, I was in Montgomery at 7 am! Our pregnancy test was positive and they said I was 3 1/2 weeks pregnant!! I was ecstatic and beside myself! I could describe the excitement! Todd and I cried and prayed and cried some more! We were so excited! We decided to call our parents and tell them the great news. We also called some of our very closest friends to tell them. Some people believe telling as early as 4 weeks is too early, but so many people have been walking this journey with us, we felt we had to share this news because we covet prayers! So.....Thursday from 7 am until 3:30 we were the happiest people in the entire world.

Thursday afternoon as I was pulling up to AJHS for cheerleading practice, my sweet nurse in Birmingham called. She said "Rachel, we got your blood work back and your hormone levels went to ZERO!" I said, well what does that all mean? More meds, more shots? she siad "No Rachel, it means your little baby has died today" - well needless to say, I LOST IT! Todd and I spent Thursday afternoon/night in our bed in tears and in prayer! God comforts the brokenhearted and Gods timing is perfect were the two promises we were clinging to.

Today has been equally rough. I started having MAJOR pain on Friday and it has continued until today when we finally lost our little child. What a drastic rollercoaster of emotions. Through it all Todd and I keep repeating, "Gods timing is perfect!!" We have a phone conference with our amazing doctor on Tuesday, we will find out more then. Until then and after, we COVET prayers! God is still faithful!

"Did you ask God for patience?"

That was the question one of my dear friends asked me on Monday when she called about my results from my apt. on Monday. So, Monday I set out for Montgomery at 5:50 in the morning for my 6:45 apt at the ART program to check my hormone levels, etc. I was under the impression that Monday afternoon I would know if I was pregnant or not. So, I waited ALLLLL day. Finally, at 4:30 my sweet nurse in Birmingham called. This was exactly how the first part of the conversation went:
nurse: Rachel, what are you doing
R: Well, Im driving to a football game
N: Okay, pull over I have to talk to you
R:Okay, am I dying?
N: Pull over! okay, here is the deal: I am not telling you that you are pregnant but I am saying that the IUI worked!!!
R: WHAT? Does that mean I got half a baby growing in me or something?

Okay, needless to say, I was completely confused! But, after LOTS of explaining, she told me that the IUI (that usually only has about a 20% chance of working the first time) worked and the effect of the IUI had happened! But, the problem is that my progesterone levels are not as high as they need them to be so they are not sure the IUI (which I like to consider a baby) may not sustain through this process.

So, whats next? Well, they gave me some lovely meds that are NOT taken orally that I have to take every night and then I go back tomorrow morning at the same time to see if my progesterone has gone up?! Apparently they will be able to tell me more tomorrow!

Praise the Lord that this process at least works....in case I have to do it again, I am confident we are in the greatest hands! Also, if we are pregnant, then we now officially THREE weeks pregnant! Todd says it best when he told his mother that we are "cautiously optimistic". For the first time in this process, I have gotten really excited because we have had good news....which makes me so nervous! But, the author and perfecter of this world is in control. The God of the universe, who knows every hair on my head, also knows the plan for us! I cling to the assurance that "God is never early and never late! His timing is perfect!" Please continue to pray for peace and understanding through this process. Each step is one more answer and step! We are trusting in the perfect plan and timing of our God!

Playing the waiting game

Wow, its been so long since I have posted! So much has happened. Todd and I have seen the work of God in so many steps of this process we have taken recently. First off, we LOVE our doctors in Birmingham (and Montgomery). So, we went to Birmingham in July for our initial consult. We left there completely overwhelmed but feeling so taken care of but the VERY smart doctors. Since then I have made 2 more trips to the ART program in B'ham and made about 10 trips to their satelite office in Montgomery. We went through the entire process of shots and medicines (which, I must say, I have become braver with needles!) and done TONS of ultrasounds. The step we just recently took was a big one for us. We had an IUI on Tuesday, September 20th. It was very painless and the best part was that I got a whole day with my husband! So, now we are in the waiting game. I went last week for blood work and they said my progesterone was a 40! (Before I went to B'ham, it was a .017 - so major difference!) and I go back on Monday to have more blood work drawn for a pregnancy test! Todd and I are nervous but know that God is in complete control of the situation. Our insurance pays for 8 IUI's so hopefully we wont have to have 8 of these "fun" things, but we know that we will do whatever the doctors advise us to do. What a praise that there are people ALOT smarter than us that can lead us through this process! Isn't God so great?

A Long Road Ahead

Well, Todd and I made it to and from Birmingham in one piece! I have never been nervous about our situation until the morning we were supposed to go to Birmingham to meet with the doctor. Suddenly, on the way up there, I got so nervous! But Todd and I kept repeating, "Be anxious about nothing...." over and over. Well, God proved He is in complete control. We LOVE LOVE LOVE our doctor in Birmingham. She is fantastic and absolutely the smartest woman in the world (okay that may be a little exaggeration!) But, we were there from 9:30-1:00 and were with a doctor or nurse the entire time. They truly learned our history, everything about us, and we left feeling taken care of by some people MUCH smarter than us! So, here is where we are: I am taking Vitamin D, Prenatal Vitamins, Insulin meds, 2 types of hormones, and another medicine that I can only order from a 1-800 number -  and then get to go to the doctor 6 times in a month! - Now, tell me if that doesnt give you heart burn?! But, the praises are that Todd is completely healthy, my doctor did not seem very concerned about my issues at all, and we are on the right path! Praise the Lord!

Hectic life.....wouldn't change a thing!

In May I looked at our calendar and thought, "how in the world are we going to get it all done?" Well here we are and its almost all finished! Wow, where did 8 weeks go?

Since Chrysalis I have spent LOTS of time with 15 amazing young women! The Auburn JV Cheerleaders just finished UCA cheer camp! They are SOOOOO talented, and pretty cool girls, too =) They worked so hard and it paid off! They got second place in cheer and first place in dance at camp. I was so proud of them! I spent 4 LONG days in the Auburn arena, cheering on my girls, dancing with my girls, and bandaging LOTS of injuries! I love this group of girls!

Well, the main event of the summer is finally here! MY LITTLE SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!!! Avery is getting married to a wonderful young man named Curtis. Todd and I are SO excited to spend a few days with our family and celebrate this special time in my little sister's life. We are even more excited that this time, it isnt our wedding so we get to REALLY eat and have fun at the reception, without worrying about everyone around us!

Todd and I have reached a new season in our life. I have been quiet about our struggles so far, but I feel that prayers of friends is so important during this time in our life, so I am asking for your prayers! I have been on fertility medicine for 7 months and everytime I get test results back, they come back with low numbers and depressing results. So, Thursday, July 28th, Todd and I are going to Birmingham to a fertility specialist to see what the next steps are in our future. As I told a great friend this morning, I am not nervous about the results because God is in completely control. I am a little nervous about all the test they are going to want to run. I have a ZERO tolerance for pain and hear that some of the tests can get uncomfortable. So, my prayer is that God goes before us and the entire process is bathed in his will and that whatever reason that Todd and I have been struggling with this for a year and a half, I pray that it brings glory to God! Oh, and we covet your prayers!

Chrysalis

If I could go into full time ministry with teenage girls, I would do it! I was absolutely blessed to be a part of an amazing weekend of Chrysalis this past weekend! God worked in wonderful ways in many of the teenage girls at Chrysalis. It was such a tiring weekend but completely worth it. We ate ALOT, spent alot of time in a freezing conference room, and got to spend a lot of time praying and worshipping. I am so thankful for the friends that I got to meet and spend time with this past weekend. God is definitely moving in the life of teen girls and for that, I am SO thankful!! One of the greatest quotes of the weekend was:

"Your worth is not found in your circumstances or others opinions. Your worth is found in the favor of your Heavenly Father! You are a daughter of the King" - I think every girl (no matter the age) needs to hear that!