Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Road Continues.....

So, it has been a tough month for Todd and me. But, this life we call "infertility" continues. After the miscarriage and pain on Sunday, I got to talk to my doctor on the Tuesday that followed. Can I remind everyone, I love my doctor!! She was so comforting and really explained what happened in "normal people" words! I even got a card in the mail from the doctor's office that said they were thinking about us and praying for us. I cannot express how much it means to have a doctor that really cares and loves us! So, our doctor said that we were going to continue on this path because she is hopeful that it will work again! She said that only 20% conceive on their first attempt at an IUI and the percentage goes up everytime! She seemed really positive and I am thankful she didnt give me an option to quit. Because, let me tell you, after everything this month, I would have wanted to quit. All that to say that we are going to have our second IUI this weekend (Lord willing!) It depends on all my hormone levels, etc. but, it is so exciting that we get to start all over! I couldnt imagine anything good coming out of what has happened this week but God has a way of proving Himself faithful through the pain! I have polycystic ovarian syndrome which is an easy way to say I have lots of cysts. So, during my first IUI I had over 20 cysts on one ovary and over 30 on the other ovary (which no one seemed worried about?!) But, when we did my last ultrasound this week, I had ZERO cysts!! I was shocked! I dont know why I was shocked, isnt God bigger than medicine? But, it means I have less pain and it is more likely that things will work well without the cysts on each ovary! So, through all the tears, there is a rainbow! So, we covet prayers throughout the next few days as we wait and anticipate our next round of infertility treatments, shots, and possibly another IUI! We will see....

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Rollercoaster of Emotions

God sometimes does not quiet the storms in our lives but keeps the storms going and quiets His child.....what a quote to describe this week!

Monday we found out that our IUI worked but my hormone levels were a little low so I was going to take LOTS of medicine and then go back on Thursday. So for 3 full days Todd and I prayed and hoped and anticipated the news on Thursday.

Thursday, I was in Montgomery at 7 am! Our pregnancy test was positive and they said I was 3 1/2 weeks pregnant!! I was ecstatic and beside myself! I could describe the excitement! Todd and I cried and prayed and cried some more! We were so excited! We decided to call our parents and tell them the great news. We also called some of our very closest friends to tell them. Some people believe telling as early as 4 weeks is too early, but so many people have been walking this journey with us, we felt we had to share this news because we covet prayers! So.....Thursday from 7 am until 3:30 we were the happiest people in the entire world.

Thursday afternoon as I was pulling up to AJHS for cheerleading practice, my sweet nurse in Birmingham called. She said "Rachel, we got your blood work back and your hormone levels went to ZERO!" I said, well what does that all mean? More meds, more shots? she siad "No Rachel, it means your little baby has died today" - well needless to say, I LOST IT! Todd and I spent Thursday afternoon/night in our bed in tears and in prayer! God comforts the brokenhearted and Gods timing is perfect were the two promises we were clinging to.

Today has been equally rough. I started having MAJOR pain on Friday and it has continued until today when we finally lost our little child. What a drastic rollercoaster of emotions. Through it all Todd and I keep repeating, "Gods timing is perfect!!" We have a phone conference with our amazing doctor on Tuesday, we will find out more then. Until then and after, we COVET prayers! God is still faithful!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

"Did you ask God for patience?"

That was the question one of my dear friends asked me on Monday when she called about my results from my apt. on Monday. So, Monday I set out for Montgomery at 5:50 in the morning for my 6:45 apt at the ART program to check my hormone levels, etc. I was under the impression that Monday afternoon I would know if I was pregnant or not. So, I waited ALLLLL day. Finally, at 4:30 my sweet nurse in Birmingham called. This was exactly how the first part of the conversation went:
nurse: Rachel, what are you doing
R: Well, Im driving to a football game
N: Okay, pull over I have to talk to you
R:Okay, am I dying?
N: Pull over! okay, here is the deal: I am not telling you that you are pregnant but I am saying that the IUI worked!!!
R: WHAT? Does that mean I got half a baby growing in me or something?

Okay, needless to say, I was completely confused! But, after LOTS of explaining, she told me that the IUI (that usually only has about a 20% chance of working the first time) worked and the effect of the IUI had happened! But, the problem is that my progesterone levels are not as high as they need them to be so they are not sure the IUI (which I like to consider a baby) may not sustain through this process.

So, whats next? Well, they gave me some lovely meds that are NOT taken orally that I have to take every night and then I go back tomorrow morning at the same time to see if my progesterone has gone up?! Apparently they will be able to tell me more tomorrow!

Praise the Lord that this process at least case I have to do it again, I am confident we are in the greatest hands! Also, if we are pregnant, then we now officially THREE weeks pregnant! Todd says it best when he told his mother that we are "cautiously optimistic". For the first time in this process, I have gotten really excited because we have had good news....which makes me so nervous! But, the author and perfecter of this world is in control. The God of the universe, who knows every hair on my head, also knows the plan for us! I cling to the assurance that "God is never early and never late! His timing is perfect!" Please continue to pray for peace and understanding through this process. Each step is one more answer and step! We are trusting in the perfect plan and timing of our God!