Today is one of those days where I am SO thankful for my sweet mother, my wonderful mother in law, and all of my amazing friends who are mothers, but it is also one of the hardest days of the year for me. Even in the midst of peace, days come up where Satan jumps right in to attack. Today is one of those days. I was blessed with the most amazing woman as my mother! She taught me selfless love, she was the example of a Proverbs 31 woman, and gave me tough advice and love when it was needed. So, I LOVE to honor her on days like today. But, it is also a HUGE reminder that God has greater plans for our lives and that His timing is never early or late! We just have to rely on that promise. We got to spend the afternoon with Todd's side of the family, and his family truly are the greatest in laws. His sisters are my sisters and his parents are my parents. For that, I am thankful! But, of course, I am missing my own momma today! God also laid it on my heart today that I should be thankful for women in my life who are "motherly". Being a mother is not just by birthing a child, it is a choice and actions. I have had so many women who have "mothered" me through parts of my life and I pray that I am that person for young ladies and girls. It is truly one of the main reasons I coach cheerleading, because what 15 year old girl doesnt need a village to raise her???
As for updates about our lives, we need lots of prayer (of course haha!) I said in my last post that we were going to take a break until June. Well, June is coming up! God laid it on my heart to discuss with Todd about the option of adoption again. So, one night, we sat down and cried and prayed and discussed all the options of fertility. Todd's heart is not at complete peace about adoption yet, but I am not worried. God is not a God of confusion and He will lead our hearts to His will, because that is what we are praying! We pray that not Rachel's will or not Todd's will be done, but that our hearts are tied so closely to God's heart, that His will will be the desires of our heart. The great news about Lifeline (the adoption agency we would likely use if we go that route), will not let you apply until you have been married for 3 years. So, we cannot move in that direction until July. So, we are not discussing it until July. We are praying individually that God would reveal His plan and will for our lives and then in July we will start discussing our options again. Right now our options are adoption or IVF. My sweet husband said it best "we chose each other first and we will choose each other last! We desire for a baby more than our hearts can stand, but a baby will not complete our life, only the Lord will fill our hearts!" - though that sounds easy, the desire is so hard it hurts! So, we plead that the Lord's will be done in our lives but then "self" steps in and says "but please make it quick" =)